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An Application for an English Teaching Position But then Who Would Want Such an Applicant

Sir,.Sub: Application for an English-teaching position.I am given to understand that your esteemed institution has a vacancy for an English Teacher and that you are offering a good remuneration package. In fact, I think, I will be happy to work for a little less than you'd like to offer if you will agree to turn a blind eye to my passport.See, the problem is that I am really an American and a little British, too.

but unfortunately, my mother neglected to go to America when they were issuing passports there. Some other people were faster and got there before my Mom could and then they almost stopped giving out those beautiful passports. Later, she could have tried for a Canadian or an Australian/New Zealand one but I was growing up and she thought traversing such a distance would be a very difficult task with a heavy baby in her arms. Moreover, she had another baby inside, so she thought instead, of spending all that time and effort on providing me with an education that she believed would be more useful than just the pages of a passport and she stayed on.I do have a bachelor's dregree and some teaching experience in China, too.

Unfortunately, most universities/schools have turned down my application on another plea viz. the colour of my skin.I took up the matter with my Mom and asked her why she did not make me white and she said that people around her were not so white so she thought it wouldn't matter that my colour was tan and not white. I pleaded with her to put me back inside her and tinker with my skin and then turn me out all shining and white.

She looked up toward the skies, a tired, exasperated _expression clouding her face. "No, I can't?you're too big," she said, "you're past 46 now and you should know better?".Yes, I admit I am 46 but what can I do if the colour of my skin is not white? I would love to bleach it like Mr.

Jackson but I lack the resources he commands. I can dance a little, but my sons turn away when they see me dancing (please don't ask me if they're white and what passports they have) and when I sing, a chorus of asses joins in and people say we make a wonderful choir but my teenage sons look disgustedly at me and that, I think, means something! I even invested in a CD and when I went to a recording company they were kind and said if I continued trying hard, very hard, over a few generations I might be able to sell a few hundred copies. But, Sir, that will take a long time and I cannot change the colour of my skin until then. So, please, will you consider me for a position despite these obvious 'lackings'?.

Yours, in truth,.I remain,.An Eager Applicant.PS: I am consulting with my lawyers to haul my Mom before the courts to sue her and claim damages for giving me a dirty tan colour when she could easily have made me white (I have a sworn and notarized affidavit from my father, saying the colour of the sperm he impregnated her with was white).E N D.

A short explanatory note on what inspired this application 'template':.I tried finding a teaching position in Asian schools for many months but my application was turned down everywhere on account of the colour of my skin and the passport I hold. This is true despite my degree in English Literature from a top Indian College, nearly three-years' English-teaching experience in China and years of writing (with some publishing credits, including a book of short-stories). I wonder when discrimination will end.

when racism, passportism and colourism will die.I wonder.http://www.writingup.com/blog/oneinabillion


.Rajesh Kanoi (Jack) is a published writer, now living and working in China. Many of his short-stories, poems and articles have been published, including a book of short-stories, 'Tales From China' (Lipstick Publishing).

By: Rajesh Kanoi


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